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Thursday, 18 December 2014

Updated: Malala's Conspiracy theory

There has been a recent development in Malala's story. She has been awarded the Nobel by the Yahood o Hunood West, hence it is requested that all Palang Tor Patriots update themselves accordingly:

When Malala was shot:
1̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶i̶n̶g̶.̶

When Imran Khan condemned the incident:
̶2̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶was̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶T̶T̶P̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶C̶I̶A̶.̶
When TTP continued to attack Army sites and Malala given international recognition:
3̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶e̶ ̶was̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶T̶T̶P̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶T̶T̶P̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶C̶I̶A̶ ̶a̶g̶e̶n̶t̶s̶
When TTP wrote the letter, explaining why they shot her:
4. She was shot by the TTP who regret the incident. She should leave the judgement to Allah. After all what TTP are writing in their letter is absolutely true about the New World Order.

When she received the Nobel:
5. She is innocent and genuine but her father is fraud and sold out.

After the Peshawar Attack:
6. Malala is responsible for Peshawar attack. After her drama to nuke and isolate Pakistan flopped, CIA paid Taliban more money to do a bigger attack to make Pakistan look bad in the eyes of the world.

(The above is valid until any new event)
This is a mere coincidence that the evolutionists that I hav
e met, also voted for PTI in the elections.

Friday, 7 November 2014


A tribute to the oppressed women and children of this country. Who gave up everything to make this a better place!

Singer: Sona Mohapatra
Music: Ram Sampat

Daily Motion:



Thursday, 4 September 2014

Tabdeeli or your Guilt?

Aaj kal Facebook pe Khan saab ki support mein bohot se log likh rahay hain. Nazariyaati log kam reh gaye hain aur shakhsiyat ke pujari zyada. Mein unki neeyat pe shak nahi karta lekin mein kaisay maan loon ke unn ki neeyat mein tabdeeli agai hai? Mujhay lagta hai, zyada tar log apni guilt mita rahay hain Imran Khan ko support karke. Kal Imran Khan aa bhi jayega tou inhein koi aur bahana mil jayega tax churanay ka. Cheating karnay ka. Aur aisay system ko kya chalna hai jo ek shakhsiyat ki existence pe based ho?

Mein yaqeen karloonga ke sahi tabdeeli agai hai jis din hamari elite class apnay walidain, azeez o aqarib, mohallay ke uncles, jernail chaachaas, aur 18 grade ke bureaucrat maamas se bhi yehi sawal karnay ke qabil hojayegi: "Aap ne itni daulat kaise banai? Hum paanch behen bhaio ko Amrika London IBA LUMS CBM executive education programs mein parhnay kaise bheja itni si salary mein? Kaise ye 1000 gaz ka ghar banaya Defense mein? Kitna tax dya pichhlay 20 saal mein?"

Jis din hum Pervez Khattak se bhi wohi sawal karengay jo hum Nawaz Shareef se kartay hain ke Aap ke dono bachay London mein kaise parhtay hain govt salary pe? Aur aap itna kam tax detay hain. Jis din anti-corruption hamara principle stand hoga. Cult based nahi. Ke Imran Khan ne keh dya tou sirf Nawaz Shareef se sawal karo.

Jis din democracy hamara yaqeen hoga. Agr meray mukhalif ko bhi vote paray tou bismillah. Naa ke ye ke agr mein haar jaoon tou democracy nahi khilafat chahiye. Wo tou mein democracy ki himayat sirf iss liye kar raha thha kyunke Khan sb ne kaha thha.

Jis din hum insaani jaan ko utni hee ahmeeyat dengay jitni deni chahiye. Jis din human rights hamara nazariya hoga. TTP jab MQM ya ANP ke logo ko maaregi tou hum ta'asub aur siyasi mukhalfat ki bunyad pe usko "drama" nahi kahengay aur na hee taaveelaat (excuses) paish karengay. Hum unke liye bhi awaz uthayenge.

Jis din hum aurto ke huqooq ki baat karengay. Malala ko lagnay wali goli pe jashn nahi manayenge aur dikhanay ko hamdardi nahi jatayenge sirf iss liye kyunke Khan sb Malala ke saath hain.

Acha baat sunein. Ooper kahi gai tamaam baatein mazaq thhiin. Please ignore all above. Asl mein mujhay kehna thha: Jis din roti sasti hogi aur mehngi hogi jaan. Ek din ayega aisa hoga Pakistan. Mein tou dekhoonga (kyunke ye gaana aaj kal 'in' hai)

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Rising for Gaza

Friend: Palestenian genocide is wrong
Me: Why?
Friend: Because killing due to difference of religion, race or opinion is absolutely insane!!
Me: That's great to know my friend. You have said the most humane thing, I have heard in a while. Absolutely sensible. Well said!
Friend (getting fired up with praise): And you know, one doesn't need to be a muslim to feel the pain of Gaza. Just be a human!
Me: Wow. That is so articulate. So true.
Friend: Hitler was right to kill all jews. U know, he said: "I m leaving some jews to show u why i killed them." Holocaust was so good!!
*Head meets wall* *Repeat*

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Maligning my Country. Enough is Enough!

This post by Qooba is in retaliation to the International and local media who go around maligning my country. The "whole West" should stop generalizing against all Pakistanis. Therefore, to address the international media, Qooba writes in his Gulaabi English. Get ready you people. Your father is writing.

Not to dwell into a lot of issues and conphhuse things, Qooba will just pick one incident. It was promoted that Malala's book was banned in Khyber PakhtunKhwah and Pakistan is a country which cracks down on Books. Ok if you say so. Now see my counter arguments which will make you eat your own shitty words:
  1. It is banned for sekoorty reasons u idiot. PTI govt care for people. That's why! What if, on the launch 100 people come and open fire? who will be responsible for dead? Of course Malala and you liberal fashishts. Do not ask me why the same PTI fan base made mockery of a very similar logic put forward by Rehman Malik in defense of mobile phone bans. We can discuss it some other time *cough*
  2. The book was also defending Salman Rushdie. Now as an honest muslim, you tell, should it not be banned? What U say? That our Holy book and religion so weak that it will get threatened by another book? *cough* Let's meet somewhere my friend then I show u who is weak. LOL :D
Now let's come back to freedom of choice, freedom of speech in Pakistan. General Examples from Qooba's well researched tweets:
We allow so much freedom of speech, my molvi allows me to pick any surah i like after sura e fateha in namaz. See.